"REVEALED: The 3-Step Formula For Overcoming Loneliness!"

From The Desk Of: Riz Aseem

Riz PictureI was having a hard time with my girlfriend. We were in a long distance relationship. Plus I was working 65 hour weeks.

She thought I was ignoring her, or that I didn’t want to get married.

I come from a culture where our parents are expected to pay for the wedding. But my parents didn’t have the money for our wedding. So I was working hard to save the money to pay for the wedding.

She didn’t know that I was going to pay for the wedding. I wanted to tell her, but I didn’t feel right telling her something like this.

She thought I was ignoring her, or having an affair. The more I tried convincing her that it wasn’t that the worse it got between us.

It didn’t help that we were living in different time zones. 10 hours apart. So when I was at work she could talk, and when I was home she couldn’t talk.

I loved her very much and wanted very much to get married to her.

I was terribly lonely.

There was no one I could talk to and no one I could tell about the dilemma I was in.

This might not be the situation you are in right now. You might have other problems, your boyfriend might’ve broken up with you and your parents could be giving you hell.

I can’t tell you that I know exactly how you feel. But I can imagine very close to how you do.

You go to work and come home.

Eat dinner alone and watch TV.

Then goto sleep late at night, waking up to a job that you despise.

Well not really, but you feel so alone all the time, that you hate everything.

This was my life. This is what I would do most days and then feel lonely because there was nothing that I could do.

But before I tell you the 3-Step Formula for overcoming loneliness, let me share with you

What You Will Discover By Reading The Rest Of This Answer

If you do read this answer you will quickly discover that you’re able to connect with other people easily and able to feel their warmth even when they aren’t in the room.

You will make more friends, quicker and your friends will look up to you for being the kind of person who takes away their pain, and brightens up the room.

You will be able to achieve the things that you want to achieve and get the tings in life you’ve always wanted to get.

You will have power over your emotions, and your loneliness will disappear as if it never existed.

But a word of warning…

If you don’t read this answer you will keep living your life with a huge hole in your heart. It will eat at your soul and make you wonder whether there is something wrong with you.

When you look at people on the street having a good time with their boyfriends, and girlfriends you will feel this to be alien. Somehow there will always be an aching in your heart.

When you get into a relationship – it will feel hollow and even when you connect with them you will feel like a fake.

Ultimately you will fail to get the things that you want to get in life, lose all your friends to your loneliness. Your family will treat you like a depressing person and avoid you – and you will waste away your existence in loneliness.

So let’s take a look at the 3 Step Formula that I used to overcome my loneliness and that you can use almost immediately to overcome your loneliness.

Here it is.

The 3-Step Formula For Overcoming Loneliness

Step 1. Write down similarities you have with 10 people each day.

This will allow you to connect with other people and see how you are similar to them.

Just by doing this simple exercise of writing down the names of 10 people you know – and the similarities you have with them you will quickly discover your loneliness evaporating.

Come up with a new similarity each day in the 10 people you choose.

If you can’t come up with a new similarity then come up with a new person with 10 similarities each day. Ideally you want to come up with different similarities for each person.

So here’s an example of the similarities you can have.
– going to the same school (I went to convent school also),
– having parents of the same descent (My parents were also from India),
– liking to do the same things (both of us play tennis) etc.

Once you have come up with the list of 10 people and 1 similarity with each of them – then the next time you meet them talk to them about this similarity.

Just say, “I was thinking the other day _________ (your parents are also from India right?) Tell me more about them?”

This question is the perfect seg way to the next step…

Step 2. Become curious about others

What this means is that no matter where you are, talk to other people about them.

Don’t talk about how your day went, or what you did, or what someone said to you – ask them about them. Talk to them about things that you see them wearing, holding, saying, or an observation about them.

Do this persistently – do this every where.
– On the train (So which stop did you get on from… / Was it super busy there also?)

– in the checkout line (“Hey, I love this brand of chips – have you tried ___ flavour?”)

– at the dry cleaners (“Did you watch ___ TV show yesterday? No! What’s your favorite show?)

Become curious about others.

Think about what’s going on in their life.

Ask them, what’s going on?

What’s new?

Ask them how their day went?

If everything is okay with them?

You will come to realize that they live a very similar life to you.

You will make new friends in the most unlikely of places and get more out of your daily commute.

This leads us to step 3 of overcoming your loneliness…

Step 3. Give more attention to others than yourself

The more you think about yourself the more you magnify your situation.

Think about others, put more attention on them.

Let them talk to you.

Take on their problems and think about solving them for them.

Let them share their burdens with you.

Let them share their happiness with you. Become the mirror that most people are seeking.

The more you do this the more you’ll realize how good your own life is.

Look you’ve already asked them how their day went – and most people will have something going wrong in their life.

Think about their problem for a few days if you have to – then come up with a solution for their problems and send them the solutions.

Say to them…”I remember the other day you mentioned you were having trouble with _____. Here’s what I thought might help… Try it out and let me know if it does”

By doing these simple steps you’ll become more aware of others around you.

You will become aware of the things that you have in common with them.

You’ll realize that we are all alone in this blue dot floating in the corners of the universe. We are all alone, unless we connect with each other. And let others connect with us.

The more open we are the more people can connect with us, and take away our loneliness.

I hope you find someone or something that takes away your loneliness. I know this helped take away mine.

But A Word Of Warning!!!

Initially when you try these steps out it will be a little awkward. You won’t have practiced enough to make this natural to you.

Don’t worry about that – it’s just the learning pains. Just like learning anything new – the first few times isn’t so fluid and graceful.

Don’t worry. No one is going to judge you, or think about it. They will be too concerned thinking about how the appeared to you.

Then once you’ve done this a few times it will come naturally to you and you’ll be able to do this a lot easier.

This is where you’ll get the most results.

So try this out a few times – just think of this as practice runs – like just testing it out, test driving this, like you would test a perfume before you actually buy it.

Then once you’ve tested this out a few times in your life then apply it regularly.

You’ll discover to your shock and amazement that you’ve dealt with your loneliness without even knowing about it.

You will overcome your loneliness quickly and move on with your life and be able to connect with others like you’ve never done before.

Ultimately your loneliness will be a thing of the past – you’ll look back at it and wonder why you ever were lonely – just by apply this simple 3-Step Formula.